


Only With You

by Oliver__Niko



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Awkwardness, Bottom Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Communication, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gender Dysphoria, M/M, Romance, Smut, Top Sylvain Jose Gautier, Trans Character, Trans Felix Hugo Fraldarius, gender neutral terminology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:07:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28073694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oliver__Niko/pseuds/Oliver__Niko
Summary: Becoming more sexually intimate with Sylvain is something Felix has had to build himself up to. One day, however, after backing out of the situation several times before, he is finally ready for their first time.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	Only With You

**Author's Note:**

> So my first NSFW Sylvix piece had also been a first time fic, however I wanted to dive into it again! I feel like it's something that can be written in a number of different ways, and this time, I wanted to explore the added layer of gender dysphoria, and navigating sex whilst possessing it.
> 
> So lots of communication, softness and Felix being a lil awkward. I hope you enjoy!

Half an hour has passed since Sylvain asked Felix a certain question, and this time, he actually said yes.

Felix is still sitting here, staring down at their intertwined hands. Breathing in and out, trying to keep himself steady. Listening to Sylvain’s own breaths helps. Felix attempts to match his pace, which is far, far more relaxed than Felix’s own.

Sylvain seems calmer in general. Felix, after all, cannot feel Sylvain tremble in the same way he is. He supposes it’s natural when Sylvain is hardly new to sex, but then again, it’s still humiliating in its own way.

“Are you sure?” asks Sylvain, which has probably been the tenth time already.

Felix nods. “I really am. I’m just bringing myself up to it, that’s all.”

Around forty minutes ago, the two began making out. That in itself has been something which Felix is adjusting to. The idea of anything sexual has never made much sense to him, until he tried it with Sylvain. Sometimes, this kissing becomes far heated, more passionate. Lips become rougher, hands wander—

Okay. It’s _Sylvain’s_ hands which mostly wander. Felix’s do too, although he’s a lot more cautious and less sure on what to do with them. Sylvain, meanwhile, has had no qualms over squeezing his backside and everything similar once he learned that Felix does indeed enjoy it.

Sometimes, when this escalates, Sylvain will ask Felix a question: whether or not they want to go all the way, this time.

In three instances, Felix has said no, whereas he’s said yes during another three. The first time with the latter, they didn’t do anything at all, because Felix had a panic attack instead. He still feels embarrassed over this, no matter how much Sylvain reassures him that it was okay.

The second time, Sylvain fingered him. Which was good. Great even, once Felix finally relaxed; he managed to do so once Sylvain brought up the idea that they try fingering and nothing else. It helped to have no obligation to go further than this, so much so that this was the first time Felix managed to use his mouth on Sylvain. He learned that blow-jobs are a lot easier than he imagined, especially once he is in the flow. He’s not too bad at it.

The third time is now. They have never waited this long before proceeding before, mostly because Felix is genuinely certain he won’t need to stop this time, and he has to brace himself. He knows, however, that he probably shouldn’t spend _too_ much time doing so. That’ll likely only make things worse.

“We should talk about it a bit more,” says Sylvain, his thumb stroking over the back of Felix’s hand. “Do you think it’d help you feel more prepared, if we went over that first? So we’re not diving into the unknown.”

“I … yeah. I think so.” He lets out an awkward chuckle. “Not that I really know what I need to ask about.”

“That’s okay. I can ask instead.” Sylvain brings Felix’s hands up to his mouth, planting a kiss onto both of them, and Felix cannot stop a smile. “I want to double check where I can touch you. Is there anything that’s off-limits?”

This is so infrequent, it can change throughout the day, and Sylvain is aware of this. It’s one of the reasons Felix has found it difficult to have sex with him. He doesn’t want to be awkward about what he can handle on certain days, and have this ruin any of their plans.

Although if Sylvain is the one asking about this, perhaps it’s not awkward to have these varying limits after all.

“My chest, for one thing. I really, really don’t want that being touched today.”

Dysphoria concentrates there, so it’s common for this to be a place that is off-limits. He can only hope he can do something about that once this war is finally over.

“That’s okay,” says Sylvain, smiling. “What about down there? Do you have a preference on what I use?”

This is a bit more complicated. When Sylvain fingered him before, it had been in the front, and Felix hadn’t disliked it. Today, though he doesn’t necessarily think Sylvain needs to avoid that area completely, the thought of being penetrated there is not something he thinks he can handle.

He doesn’t know how to put that into words. “I, uh, I’m not fully against you touching me … there.” Sylvain nods, and Felix knows he’s waiting for further explanation. “But I don’t—I know that no matter how we do this, we’re going to be two men having sex together. I think I just want to feel more like … I don’t know how to put it.” Felix rubs the back of his neck, feeling his face start to burn. “I’ve been imagining us having sex a lot more lately, but whenever I do …”

His words drift off, uncertain on how to word himself. Luckily, he’s said enough for Sylvain to understand.

“How _do_ you picture us having sex?” Sylvain asks. “What do I do?”

“It’s anal. For one thing.” If he hadn’t been blushing before, he is certainly doing so now, his eyes fixed on the bed covers. “It’s not like I’m against us doing it the other way, but I think for our first time, I don’t want it to be like the sex you’ve had with women. Not because I dislike you for your history or anything.”

“You just want to be set apart from them more, right? I know you’ve had some issues around me seeing you differently to them.” Sylvain squeezes Felix’s hands, urging them to meet eyes for a moment. “It’s fine. I don’t mind at all. I just need you to bear in mind that it requires more preparation than it would the other way, and it might take you a bit longer to adjust to it. Is that okay?”

Felix nods. It’s more than okay, even. A tongue licks around his lips, wondering if this is something he should mention—he _probably_ should, as he imagines it’s useful information for Sylvain to have, but it’s another thing which is mortifying to say. He has no idea how Sylvain manages any of this.

“I’m … weird, I think.”

A laugh escapes Sylvain—not mocking, or even _at_ Felix, it’s simply light and bright. “Well, I like weird. You know that.”

Felix gives him a gentle shove. “I know that theoretically, anal is meant to be more difficult. But whenever I’ve masturbated … Don’t go picturing it.”

“Ah, yes. I, Sylvain Jose Gautier, will not imagine my attractive boyfriend pleasuring himself. That is certainly something I won’t do.”

“Shut it.” Despite Felix’s words, there is a small, amused smile on his face. Sylvain joking around always helps to ease tension. “I have only done it a few times, and I’ve tried it both ways. I don’t know if it’s because of dysphoria or anything, but it can be painful doing it _that_ way. Not all the time, but sometimes. Whereas the other way isn’t like that as much.”

“I can understand that. And I’d be careful no matter how you wanted it, but you'd definitely prefer anal?”

“Yeah. This time. If that’s okay.” Felix pauses, curiosity taking hold of him. “Have you even done that?”

Sylvain scratches the back of his head. “Do you not mind me talking about it?”

“Nah. I get a bit jealous sometimes, but it’s weirdly reassuring, I guess. Knowing you have experience and all.”

“In that case, I have, yeah. I’ve slept with a single guy in my time, towards the end of our year as students, and I also slept with a trans woman who hadn’t had any surgery.”

“Oh.” Felix feels his chest become a little lighter. “So I can trust you know what you’re doing, then?”

He tries to pass it off as a joke, but his voice is slightly awkward, tense, because of how much _he_ doesn’t know what he’s doing. And Sylvain knows that too. Hands reach for Felix’s face, however, tucking strands of hair behind his ears as he is brought into a kiss, and he realises that Sylvain doesn’t mind in the slightest.

Felix feels some of his tension easing beneath those lips. His eyes close, and his arms wrap around Sylvain’s neck in return, bringing him closer. He hums into the kiss when a tongue runs over his bottom lip. It slides inside, and before Felix knows it, he is resting on his back against the bed, leg rising up against Sylvain’s body.

The kiss breaks. He’s often left breathless when they make out, but he _gasps_ for air this time. Sylvain presses another kiss to his forehead, and again to his cheek.

“We can stop at any moment,” he says. “Before we do anything, right after I finger you, anything. You can take back your consent at any time, all right?”

Felix nods. His heart still races, and the breath he exhales is shaky, but he’s okay. “That’s fine.”

“You’re not wearing a binder either, are you? I think that might be too constrictive.”

“No. Just a gym bra.” He appreciates that Sylvain is not checking himself for the answer. He must understand that even looking at that area would make Felix uncomfortable, and the latter’s heart swells, knowing how careful Sylvain is already.

“Okay. I’m sure you’re not complaining about me getting my _own_ shirt off, are you?”

“Oh, please do.”

The blunt answer earns a laugh from Sylvain. It causes Felix to chuckle too, bringing his hands up to help Sylvain ease his shirt off—luckily, he only dons the tank top he sometimes wears beneath his buttoned shirt, which is easy enough to remove. Felix isn’t fond of how his fingers sometimes tremble too much to unfasten buttons.

“You have a few too many bruises,” says Felix, his hand trailing over Sylvain’s chest. It’s far from smooth; body hair and scars alike come in contact with his palm. It’s still warm, however. Reassuring. The more this hand treads further, the more he can feel Sylvain’s heartbeat beneath it.

It’s not quite rapid, although is quick enough to tell he also has some level of nerves. Or he could simply be excited. Felix is much too awkward to ask, especially now Sylvain has also removed his trousers, leaving him in his boxers.

“It’s normal. And no wounds at the moment, which is nice.” Sylvain hand trails down the side of Felix’s waist, lingering at the bottom of his sleeveless turtle-neck. “I’m going to touch you no higher than your stomach. Is that fine?”

Felix nods. Hands cup Sylvain’s cheeks to bring him down into a kiss, proving how truthful his words are. Sylvain’s touch creeps up beneath his shirt as promised, warm despite how Felix shivers. It creeps up over his hip bones, his stomach, before lowering back down to the waistband of Felix’s trousers.

“Are you okay to have them off, too?” says Sylvain.

“Mm. And uh, if you want to touch me _there,_ you can. I'd just prefer us to have sex the other way.”

“As long as you’d want that, too.”

Sylvain’s fingers find the button of Felix’s trousers. They pull down the zip, taking hold of the waistband again. Being in his underwear around Sylvain is hardly something he isn’t used to, although apparently, Sylvain taking off Felix’s trousers himself is a reason for his heart to beat faster.

“It’s okay,” says Sylvain, his hands stroking up either of Felix’s thighs. He lets out a sigh. “I swear you have the most wonderful legs in Fódlan, Fe.”

“Need that for how fast I am.” Felix exhales as Sylvain’s touch creeps beneath him, lifting his hips to give Sylvain room to squeeze his backside. He raises an eyebrow at Sylvain’s grin. “What?”

“Among nerves you have over other things, you certainly don’t mind that, do you?”

“Should I?” he grumbles.

“No no, not at all.” Sylvain’s hands return to Felix’s hips, back to his front. Their eyes meet for a moment, Sylvain seeking further confirmation, before his fingers trace over Felix’s genitalia through his boxers. His lips purse, holding back _some_ kind of pleasured sound. “Okay?”

“Yeah.” He tries to release the breath he seems to be holding. “I, uh, it doesn’t really make me dysphoric. Especially not with material in the way.”

“Good.”

It _is_ good. In fact, Felix wonders if he might be able to orgasm from this alone, if Sylvain kept it up for a long time; mere teases and touches through his underwear. His breaths become shallower as Sylvain goes on, but far from a bad way. They soon turn into noises tantamount to moans.

“Okay, yeah,” he says, breathing out deeply as his head leans back. “I think I’m ready today.”

Sylvain grins. “Can I bring your underwear down? Or we could turn you so you’re on your stomach, if you want to be less exposed.”

“So my ass is in the air?” Felix questions in dismay. “That is mortifying.”

“And totally hot.”

“For you.”

“For you as well.”

“Maybe another time.” Felix wonders if his face can burn any more than it does already. “Just—that’s a lot, right now.”

“Sorry, I was just teasing.” Sylvain’s thumbs run over Felix’s hip bones with a smile. “And you know how attracted to you I am.”

Felix bites back the _for some reason_ urging to come out of his mouth—that’s something they’ve already been through on a number of occasions, and Felix doesn’t have to bring it up again now. “Mm. I know. And uh, you can, by the way. Pull my underwear down."

Sylvain nods, doing exactly that. Felix appreciates how Sylvain doesn’t bring his eyes down to Felix’s genitalia. They land on Felix’s face instead, filled with the same adoration as if he were staring at the most wonderful treasure.

Something Felix has grown to realise is that Sylvain simply enjoys doing this, enjoys it with _Felix,_ and that’s probably something he should stop trying to question.

"I cleaned there well, by the way,” says Felix, because this is _also_ a cause of anxiety. “Is that enough?”

“That’s perfectly fine, Felix. You don’t have to worry.”

Felix nods and breathes out, vaguely realising that he’s panicking slightly. He is soon distracted by Sylvain’s face, however, and the slight look of amusement there. His lips are pursed as though threatening a smile. “Don’t laugh at me.” It’s an accidental snap, although with how nervous he is, Felix can also see why it was difficult for him to hold it back.

“I’m not laughing at you, Felix,” says Sylvain. He pulls open the drawer of their night-stand, returning with their essentials. “That just—it reminds me of when I first slept with a guy.”

“What happened?”

“Goddess, it’s … Well, when you’re not used to having a dick up your ass, it can feel like you might end up—you know. Doing something else.” When Felix clearly doesn’t catch on, Sylvain adds, “That you’re going to shit, I mean. And this guy and I had no clue.”

“ _Oh.”_

“He freaked out like crazy, then _I_ freaked out and pulled my dick straight out of his ass, and—well. We soon laughed it off and realised what happened, but man, nothing kills a boner quite like that.”

“I’m—wow.” Felix bursts out laughing, and the sound causes Sylvain’s eyes to visibly light up. “Don’t worry, I’m well aware.”

“Unlike we were. It was something else, I swear. Anyway, like I mentioned before, this needs more prep, okay? So let’s start with a single finger.”

“Uh, right.”

It’s nerve-wracking for sure, and Felix’s lips purse when Sylvain reaches for the oil he has left on the bed, but he at least is more prepared for this part. It might be a different entrance than what they’ve used before, but the general process is still similar to how it was back then, enough for Felix to feel relatively relaxed for now.

This increases further when Sylvain leans in and brings their lips together. Felix’s eyes close immediately, arms wrapping around Sylvain as the latter blindly coats his finger in the oil.

When the kiss breaks, Sylvain presses a kiss to Felix’s neck instead. “If you need me to use more, tell me, okay?”

Felix nods. “Okay.”

“Relax. It’s all right.”

Sylvain’s spare hand runs over Felix’s thigh in slow, relaxing circles. The finger coated in oil trails over his entrance. He inhales from the shock of it pressing against the sensitive area; he allows himself to breathe properly, trying to let his tension ease, as Sylvain presses against the exterior muscle to loosen him up as he dampens it.

So he hadn’t been lying. He _does_ know how to do anal with someone.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”

“Felix.”

“Yeah. Sorry.” He lets out a nervous laugh. “We’ve only done this once. It’s still a bit nerve-wracking.”

“I know, I know.” Another kiss on his neck, towards the centre near his throat, and when his head leans back, again at his lips.

He nods when Sylvain’s eyes meet his. The finger finally slips inside. Not the full length—simply to the first knuckle, sliding in and out steadily. Felix exhales, able to relax a little more when he realises it isn’t as bad as he feared.

“Okay?”

“Fine.” Felix closes his eyes. “Keep going.”

Sylvain does exactly that. He uses more of his finger, carefully sliding it deeper inside. It hurts for a moment when his tension seems to be at its max. A kiss at the top of his ear, and murmured encouragement inside it, helps his nerves ease again.

“Not uncomfortable, is it?” asks Sylvain.

“Uh, a bit. But not much.”

“It’ll get better, I promise.”

Felix has little doubt over this, at least. Sylvain is careful, slow, taking his time with bringing the length of his finger inside Felix. The latter knows from his own masturbation that it can take a while to stretch enough. When someone else is doing this to him, it’s even worse.

It’s embarrassing as well. Less how Sylvain is working up a pace of his finger inside him, surprisingly, and more that Felix is doing nothing. Not even a hand on Sylvain’s dick. He tries to reach for the waistband of Sylvain’s boxers, cursing the trembling of his hand.

“It’s okay.” Sylvain takes hold of it with his spare hand, giving it a squeeze. “You’re fine, Felix. Just relax.”

Felix nods, leaning his head back with an exhaled breath. He manages a smile when Sylvain plants a kiss on the back of his hand. What Felix needs to focus on is easing this tension in his body. Another exhale, and this time, when the length of Sylvain’s finger reaches inside him, he releases a hint of a moan.

“There we go.” Though Sylvain’s tone has a hint of teasing in it, he mostly appears joyful, his eyes lighting up over the sound. “It’s getting better, right?”

“It’s … it’s nice. Yeah.”

He still has no idea how a finger up his rear _can_ feel pleasurable, but he knows there is little productivity in questioning it. Another breath, his eyes closing again, trying to loosen up any remaining stiffness in his thighs. Sylvain’s lips against his own soon help him. The finger inside him speeds up slightly during the kiss, and Felix moans, allowing Sylvain to slip his tongue inside.

Felix can now truly say he is enjoying the process. The kiss manages to take his breath away, gasping for air as Sylvain trails kisses down his neck, folding his collar down to grant Sylvain more room.

“G-Goddess.” Felix curses himself for the stutter, and Sylvain for chuckling over it, even though it is clearly good-natured.

“You’re definitely loosening up a lot more. Would you say you’re ready for a second finger?”

Two certainly seems like a lot. But Felix has had Sylvain’s dick in his mouth before, and that is certainly much larger than a couple of fingers. If he’s supposed to be working himself up to _that,_ he should at least manage those.

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Only if you’re sure, Fe. And I’ll go slow.”

“It’s fine. I promise.”

Sylvain smiles, a kiss pressed against Felix’s cheek. His finger pulls out, allowing him to spread more of their lubrication across both that and his middle finger. “Did you use two when you masturbated?”

Felix knows it’s a genuine question to see what he has experienced before, but Goddess, does it wash a whole new wave of embarrassment over him. “I did. And it was okay, but I couldn’t do it for long. I don’t think I used enough oil.”

“Yeah, you need to be pretty generous with anal, especially when you’re not used to it.” Sylvain’s spare hand strokes over Felix’s thigh again, his other now reaching back between Felix’s legs. “You’ll be fine, but tell me if it hurts, okay love?"

“Okay.”

The word is too shaky for his liking. Sylvain seems to understand the difference between Felix’s types of nerves, however, a smile on his face as he brings his lips to Felix’s forehead. The fingers press at his entrance simultaneously, and Felix inhales sharply, trying to remember to keep as much tension as possible out of his body.

“Ready?” Sylvain asks. Felix nods, letting out a gasp as the fingers slowly slip inside. Not all the way again. Simply down to the knuckle, working Felix’s body up to the increase in size. It feels fine, up until Sylvain uses a bit more length.

“Hurts a bit,” Felix says, Sylvain nodding and slowing down slightly. “Sorry.”

Sylvain shakes his head. “Little bit at a time, okay? You can do this.”

It feels almost laughable for Sylvain to reassure him that way, over something as simple as fingers inside him. Those words are appreciated nonetheless, however, Felix closing his eyes as his head rests back against the pillow. Eventually, he adjusts to the additional finger further, his quiet gasps turning into something far more similar to a moan.

“That’s … that’s better,” Felix breathes out. He’s even able to run a hand along Sylvain’s shoulder, reassured by feeling his body heat, the slight sweat, and realising he’s not the only one turned on here. “Can you go a bit faster?”

“Of course, baby.”

This earns the first cry. It’s not without the slightest bit of discomfort—Felix would expect that, when he’s far from used to this. But it eases gradually, replaced by more pleasure than he has ever experienced on his own. Sylvain seems to simply understand him well enough to cater to his desires.

“Goddess, Felix,” says Sylvain when Felix is unable to hold back a louder moan. “You’re beautiful like this. You really are.”

“Ah, yes. Red-faced and sweaty, with … _ngh,_ w-with fingers up my ass. That’s beauty.”

Sylvain lets out a laugh, a sound which Felix believes is far more beautiful than he could ever be. “Yep, it is. I love knowing that you can enjoy yourself with me.”

Felix has no words for that. He can at least smile, reassured and touched all at once. His insecurities cannot simply fade overnight. But here, seeing that he is not the only one enjoying himself, he knows Sylvain is doing this because he wants to.

Eventually, Sylvain’s fingers leave Felix. It’s disappointing yet somehow a relief all at once. Sylvain wipes his fingers on a damp cloth, pointing with his other hand to the night-stand.

“Drink some water,” he says, Felix nodding and doing exactly that. He’s not sure when he became parched. “How do you feel after that?”

“I … good. I don’t hurt like I was expecting.”

“That’s good. Do you think you’re still ready for more, sweetheart?”

He nods slowly. “I don’t know for how long, but we can try. Sorry if it’s not going to be the best.”

“Hey. Doing any of this with you is wonderful as it is, and sex is more than just shoving a dick in someone. I’ve learned that a lot by being with you.” Sylvain’s hands reach for the waistband of his boxers. “No one else can compare to this.”

Felix manages a smile back. He tries to keep his eyes on Sylvain’s face, but this quickly fades as Sylvain’s boxers are pulled down his thighs. Felix has never understood the appeal behind genitalia before, but somehow, he is into it far more when it belongs to Sylvain. Maybe it’s him as a person he is attracted to more than anything.

“Suddenly,” Felix says slowly, “it seems bigger when it’s going up my ass instead.”

Sylvain chuckles. “Don’t worry. I don’t even need to use it all.”

“So now we’ve reached the bragging about dick size conversation.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that we can keep building you up a little at a time.”

“Oh. Yeah. That sounds good.” Felix cannot meet Sylvain’s eyes, which is still not ideal for his nerves when Sylvain is hardening his erection further with some oil.

But Felix supposes he should finally do _something,_ other than simply bask in nerves the entire time. He sits up, glancing at Sylvain’s eyes to seek consent, before his hand joins Sylvain’s. He’s only done this once as well. The process is self explanatory, however, and he must be doing something right to earn those moans from Sylvain.

It’s … satisfying, actually, to be able to achieve that at all. Especially with how much he worries over not being able to take the lead in anything like this.

“Is it bad for me to wonder how this is going to fit?” asks Felix, because of course he has to break a sensual, quiet moment with an idiotic question. He hasn’t _started_ his first class on dirty talk yet, never mind master it.

The laugh from Sylvain is worth it, however. “Nah, that’s fine. But it’ll fit, I promise.”

Sylvain gently guides Felix’s hand away, indicating he is ready. Following this, he waves a hand over his dick, which leaves Felix’s head tilting slightly in confusion. “Protection spell,” he explains. “It basically acts like this sheer layer around the dick.”

“Ah.” Felix can see it slightly. “Does it matter when you’re using this end?”

“Oh, yeah. After being exclusive for a while, it’s safe to not use it. But because this is our first time, we don’t want to risk any sexual illnesses.”

“Makes sense. You know, Garreg Mach should really have a sexual education class.”

Sylvain lets out a laugh. “Probably. Anyway, do you want to lay back down for this?”

Thankful to lay back down when his subtle trembles make it difficult to sit up straight, Felix settles on the bed. He cannot tear his eyes away from Sylvain’s hands. Specifically, the way they smear more of the oil across his erection. Felix feels a strange mixture of anxiety and excitement.

“All right.” Sylvain wipes his hands on the damp cloth, now reaching for a towel to pull beneath Felix’s body. “You ready?”

“I—yeah.” Felix has been adjusting to Sylvain’s necessity of clear consent over time. “I am.”

Sylvain slides closer to Felix. The latter’s heart beats faster with this man now positioning himself between Felix’s legs, _spreading_ them with his hands, but this is the first time Felix knows he doesn’t want to run away this time. His eyes close as lips are brought to his own, legs squirming slightly against the bed as Sylvain brings himself closer.

The kiss breaks, and another is placed on Felix’s cheek when he inhales sharply; he feels the head of Sylvain’s erection meet his entrance. “One bit at a time, okay?” he says. “Definitely ready?”

“Mm. Go for it.”

He tries to keep his voice casual and normal, which is worth another chuckle he earns from Sylvain. The latter’s forehead presses against Felix. Carefully, the lubed head of his erection pushes inside, Felix inhaling deeply from the sensation.

It’s bigger than fingers. But it’s also not as bad as he feared, when Sylvain only uses a little of his length to begin with. The preparation has been enough to loosen him up, and the generous amount of oil allows Sylvain to slip inside easily.

Felix’s head falls back, remembering to breathe, and he manages a smile over another kiss on his cheek.

“Okay?” Sylvain’s voice is barely above a whisper, and Felix is almost silenced by the sheer amount of adoration in it.

“Yeah. I’m … I’m okay.”

Sylvain nods. He continues to push his hips in and out, in and out, maintaining a slow pace as he remains careful with his length. Felix’s eyes close, fingers loosely tangling in the bed covers, and manages to keep up his steady breathing. His body remains as relaxed as possible.

And eventually, he can sigh, appreciating how this feels _good._

“Enjoying it?” Sylvain questions, his smile only growing.

“Mm.” Hopefully, the simple answer is enough; he likes to imagine so, with his legs pressing closer to Sylvain, toes curling into the bed.

“Going to go a little deeper.”

“Okay.”

A kiss is gifted to his neck as Sylvain does exactly this. Still slow, careful, but now deeper into Felix; he inhales deeply, biting back a cry, although seems to relax again when Sylvain’s lips find his own. By the time the kiss breaks, Felix allows himself to relax back against the bed, chest rising and falling with his breaths.

“Sh-shit,” he says, a gasp crossed with a moan, and there is no mistaking the lustful glint in Sylvain’s eyes. He mostly seems to be dwelling in love, however. One hand remains on Felix’s hip as the other takes his own, the back of which rests against the bed. Their fingers intertwine, Sylvain letting out a moan when Felix contracts around him. A similar sound is released by Felix.

“You’re wonderful, Felix,” says Sylvain. “You truly are.”

Felix still cannot fully understand what about this makes him wonderful at all. He can at least smile from those words, however, his grip tightening on Sylvain’s hand when a whimper escapes his lips.

It feels great. Far greater than he might have ever imagined. But he cannot deny how much he is overwhelmed as well, the toll from his vulnerability soon falling over him. He holds an arm over his face as panted breaths escape his lips.

“I don’t think … th-think I can do this for much longer.”

“Okay.”

“And I might— _ah,_ m-might not come.”

“That’s fine, baby. You don’t have to by this, all right? Just tell me when you need to stop.”

He doesn’t necessarily hurt much, nor does this feel bad in any way at all, it is simply … so much. Even if a lot of that is positive, it’s still far too much for him to take in.

“This … this is enough,” he eventually gasps out. Sylvain’s nod in response is immediate, squeezing Felix’s hand in reassurance, and he slowly pulls out with his other hand trailing down the side of Felix’s body.

“I don’t mind at all.”

“But you didn’t even …”

Felix, eyes finally open, watches as the spell vanishes, and the erection is still as hard as ever. Sylvain waves this off with a hand of dismissal. “Would _you_ like to?”

“Like … orgasm?”

“Mmhmm. If you’re still okay with me touching your front.”

“I—okay.” He hasn’t ever orgasmed before. He barely understands what that would feel like. The heat at his crotch is almost overwhelming, however, and he knows that he is close already, most likely.

“Does touching include my tongue at all?”

Shit. Combine those words with that look in Sylvain’s eyes and the grin on his face, Felix is sure he hasn’t been so turned on all evening. He tries to find enough breath to say, “Yeah. Sure. Just—no fingering me inside there. Not today.”

Sylvain listens, and he listens perfectly. It only lasts for a few minutes. Tongue working and teasing at Felix’s arousal, his hands held over his burning face with thighs trembling almost convulsively, before his promised orgasm arrives with a cry of Sylvain’s name.

His eyes have been squeezed closed the entire time, and by the time he opens them, he notices that Sylvain is cleaning himself off—his hand is covered in semen, and Felix’s face seems to only blush deeper when he realises that Sylvain had been masturbating whilst using that tongue of his.

Which he did so flawlessly, Felix adds in his mind.

“Was that good, sweetheart?” Sylvain asks, still grinning.

“Wasn’t bad.” Felix manages to somehow sit up, despite how weak his legs feel. He winces slightly. “My ass kind of hurts now, though.”

“It’ll go down soon, I promise. Did you like that too?”

“Mm. It was nice. And, uh, how about you?”

“Me?” Sylvain appears surprised, as though the answer is obvious. Now his hands have been wiped, he swoops in closer to Felix, taking both of his own hands and squeezing them. “Felix, I swear that sex has never been _better._ It really does feel like something else when you love the person.”

“I—even though it didn’t go exactly as it should have?”

“What, because we didn’t come when I was inside you?” Sylvain shakes his head. He brings Felix a little closer by pulling his hands, allowing Sylvain to hug him instead. “Sex is more than that, you know. There are loads of ways to have it. And as long as we’re both happy, it’s fine, right?”

“Mm. I suppose.” Felix rests his head against Sylvain’s shoulder, smiling. “I—thanks for all of this. For your patience and being as careful as you were, I mean.”

“Nothing to thank me for. But thank _you_ for being such a wonderful partner to do this with.” Sylvain’s hands reach for Felix’s head, guiding him up to bring their foreheads together, hands cupping his cheeks. “I really did mean it, too. I love you.”

With his fingers stroking over Sylvain’s wrists, Felix’s smile grows softer, almost shy. “I love you too.”

His fears, his anxieties, all seem to fade when their lips are brought together in a kiss. It might take some time before he feels more confident and doesn’t need so much reassurance, but for now, he can see that Sylvain is happy to stay by his side every step of the way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to find me on Twitter @nikobynight for FE3H art, writing snippets and general rambles (particularly Felix related).


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